Letter to my FUTURE HUSBAND

15 Oct

My God’s Best,

Sometimes I wonder where you are. Where could you be right now in this very minute? Could you still be working, hanging out with friends or family or could be talking to the lover of your soul, Jesus Christ. I can’t wait to see you, to hug you and tell you all the things about me, who I was and who I have become because of Jesus Christ. I can’t wait to share with you my innermost thoughts, and how God is molding me day after day so He could use me in the future all for His glory. While waiting for God to reveal you to me, it doesn’t make me impatient, but rather, I am excited on how God will orchestrate our love story. I am praying that you are blessed with so many things, and as you wait for me, I hope that you are falling in love with Jesus more and more each day.I pray that your work, your family, or anything that you have will not be your idol so when that moment comes, I will be your partner, but not your priority. You will lead me closer to Christ, and make sure my purity is secured. I am praying that you love your family. In that way, it will be easier for you to love my family too and the family we will create one day.And when we say “I DO”, it will be one of the best weddings our friends and family will ever witness. They will know that God is indeed the master of love stories.

Wherever you are, think of me once in a while. Take your time. God will reveal me to you in His time. Keep falling in love with Jesus because that will be the reason why I will fall in love with you… Soon, my love, soon…

— Hi everyone 🙂 Im just so busy with school that i cant blog and so blank for what i will write, but i came up with this letter because its our Christian Education project, you have to make a letter for you future husband. This is just according on my faith and belief 🙂

Godbless 🙂

Guilt

9 Aug

tsk tsk tsk. that’s what i hear in my head when i know something isn’t right. my humanity takes over as though i am not in control. what am i doing? i go on and on. stop. blah blah blah. no. no. no. silence.

i can never be God’s perfect little girl in this body. although i live in the spirit, i am still confined in this finite home. my spirit constantly battles with my flesh. i sin. i still sin. and im sorry. i wish i could stop, highlight, delete, then type again. but i cant. my conscience pesters me even with little things- things that are not really alarming. to the world it might be nothing, but to me it is everything. guilt consumes me as though i committed murder. a little skin beyond the line and i feel like i’ve jumped over it. but im glad.

im glad that i feel guilty. im glad that God still shows me when i am out of line. im glad that i know when i make Him sad or mad. im still human. sinning is inevitable, but then i have God. forgiveness is freely given. Thank You, Father, that i can run to you at times when i fail. Thank You, Jesus, that you see my repentant heart and You forgive me. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for consuming me and continually purifying me. Thank You for Your love. Than You for your patience. Thank You for Your grace.

my bestfriends? they left me

1 Aug

Twice i experienced to be left by one of the most important person in my life. “My Bestfriend” i had one before, and we really have gone through a lot, yes i can say a lot. I almost shared half of my life with him, i treated him as my older brother, but things changed, everything changed, my feelings for him changed. I realized one day that i just dont love him as my brother but as more, i was so scared to tell him but when this day come and had enough guts to tell him and since we dont have secrets, i cant take hiding something from him we are so open with eachother, so after i told him that, i cried, cried real hard because i was really for the friendship not with this feeling i also told him that i dont want the feeling that im feeling right now but he didnt listened to me, he told me ” you forgot our promise dont you?” and i said “no” that words from him made me cry extra hard and doesnt care who’s staring at me, and then he told me to give him space and distance and i didnt say anything.. all i have in mind was im angry to myself, for having feelings with him. So he left me alone in that place and didnt talked to me. Second, i became close with this person i also consider him as one of my bestfriends, he was always there for me, he cares about me and such, i dont have feelings for him but i really do care about him a lot, i really give worth to our friendship but then, he left, without any reason, it feels like he doesnt know me anymore, i was thinking maybe he talked to me or be-friended me when times that he doesnt have anyone to talk to. so guys learn your lessons 🙂 choose your friends wisely 🙂

I just dont know how to keep this love anymore :'(

26 Jul

I’ve known him for almost two years
and all the time, I’ve been in-love with him, although we are just friends
and i know he doesnt love me back.
I can’t help but to fall in love with him.
He’s perfect! He’s responsible, intelligent, resourceful, thoughtful,
loving, sweet, caring, upright, kind, family-oriented, and a God-fearing
individual. His good looks are just an added bonus. I can’t believe such a man still exists today and I will forever be thankful for his friendship.

It is a pain to be so in-love with him knowing i cant have him, i don’t know if he’s aware of my feelings for him, but winning his heart, I think, is out
of the question. however,
that a part of me wishes he would reciprocate my love, but he’s just too
good for me. He deserves someone better

Knowing he’s wants someone else is enough consolation
for me. I want his happiness even if it would mean my own despair.
God knows how much
I’m suffering. Writing this letter alone is already a
torture. I’ve been
trying very hard to forget him. I’ve done ways to free myself from this feeling.

Whenever I see a place, a thing, or a situation, my mind automatically
associates it with him. His memories occupy most of my waking and
sleeping hours. His face pops into my mind in the middle of my lunch,
when I’m talking with my friends or just doing something which has nothing to remind me of him.
Odd, but true.
I’m not bitter, I don’t blame myself, him, nor God for this situation.

As a matter of fact, I’m thankful. Painfully odd as it
is, But I
can’t help asking myself why should someone fall for another when
they are not meant
for each other?
whenever I pray, I always ask God
to help me let go
of this love. I just want to feel the same way he feels for me… as a friend and nothing more. I know I can get through this because I believe
that God wouldn’t give me something He knows I couldn’t handle.
Someday I will be able to smile again without being hurt when I remember
him. God has His reason for all of these.

* i feel relieved.. i just cant take this anymore, sorry guys for this very dramatic post, i really needed this, its a long period of time already, atleast here i can freely say and share what i do really feel. Even though he doesnt know who he is 🙂

Goodevening guys.
Keep smiling :’)

Day2 : Nicknames

25 Jul

Supposedly im on my 3rd day day, but then i forget writing yesterday because i was too tired from school and some friend hangouts :)) So here’s my 2nd post for this bLog challenge! 🙂

Day 2 – Nicknames

Hmmmm. this is my hatest part! naaah just kidding i just really dont want my nickname 😐 My name is Kristel Mariz and my close friends and family calls me “Teteng or Teng” actually thats from my cousins because of the “Tel” on my name they changed it with “Teng” others also call me names like “Stel” “Mari” or the opposite of “Mari” which is “Mira” i know its weird, its like every person i know have their own name for me. So what do you wanna call me? :))

Have a nice day everyone!
Happy thursday! God bless 🙂

Introduction :)

24 Jul

Day 1 – Introduce yourself

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Okay, so just dont mind the crazy picture. Hahahaha.

Hi! my name is Kristel Mariz C Rivera, I am 15 years old, I am a Filipino and a 25 percent German/Spanish/Jew which doesnt make any sense at all! :))

15 Facts About Me :

* I am a PROUD CHRISTIAN
* I can fluently speak Tagalog, English and Bisaya. i used to be fluent in spanish and a bit german but as time goes by, i forgot everything.
* I Love singing
* I dont eat vegetables except for carrots and potatoes hihi
* Im proud to say that im a good swimmer and dreamnt of becoming one before.
* i love pasta and pizza
* I dont like cakes, instead i want ice cream cake because im not a bread person
* I love going out with my friends, and watch movies with them
* Im on my Senior year now
* I want to live until the age of 45 only
* I love my God, Parents, Family and Friends
* I secretly love my bestfriend @_@
* I have 4 best girlfriends
* I love pink
* I tweet and blog a lot!

Yay, Tomorrow again guys 🙂
Our redeemer lives! God bless us all! 🙂

im so excited, i just cant wait :p

24 Jul

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So i just cant wait till august!! I want to start with this thing now! weeee 🙂